I lived in Tampa at the time, and me and my room mate Jason were at Frenchy's on the beach in Clearwater drinking beers and tequila. Anyway, we get tired of that and want to smoke some herb.
Side note: my roommate was a pathelogical liar. He swore up and down he was a navy seal, but had no proof of it other than a deep navy blue satin jacken that said "NAVY" in big bold yellow letters on the back of it. This is the same type of jacket you can find at your local fair, and win from the one eyed man with the killer BO.
Anyway, Jason says his cousin, which just so happens to live in Clearwater also might have some. So we go check it out.I'm driving a red '74 beetle at the time, my most favorite car ever. We pull up to what looks like a modern day Beverly Hillbilly's shack in search of the sweet sweet green. It's dark out so I'm sure I can’t fully appreciate the sheer trashiness of the place. We go inside. Not only are there 50 bajillion children running around, but their 'father' (Jason's cousin) has a rat tail. Mind you, this was 1999, perhaps. Rat tails are not fashionable no matter where you're living at the time.
Come to find out, he didn't have any weed, BUT his girlfriend might. This chick comes skating out of the back looking trailor trash hot, I must admit. However, she had no weed either, but might know someone that does. And if we take her to meet up with her John (yes her customer who is paying for her vagina, remember the boyfriend and oh yeah, the children) then she'll hook us up with this chick other chick that does have some.
On the way we pick up some more suds and head to TACO BELL. Ahh yes, Taco Bell, the place where all high-class prostitues meet up with their clientelle. We dump her off and pick up this chick. Much younger, a lot cleaner and much better looking. She takes us to her apartment, which just so happened to be in a very BAD area of town. It was a complex in which we (the hooker, Jason & myself) were the only white folks around. Most were perusing the area with saggy pants, boxer shorts showing, no shirt on & pimping the gangsta lean.
Once inside, her apartment closely resembled a closet with a toilet in it. This place was trashed. You know those free prostitution publications you get on the corners or at strip clubs? They were all over her apartment: the floor, the table, everywhere. So as she's packing a bowl she's proceeds to show Jason and I 'Nightshade's' advertisements in the mags. She had finally made the big time! Good for her! We smoke a bit and she is complaining how her rent is due tomorrow, and how she's short the money, etc, etc. Being the goodsamaritan that Jason is he asks Nightshade how much she would take to f*ck the both of us. Being my first time with a hooker I'm a bit nervous and say, "Oh, don't worry about it, dude. You go ahead. I'll just watch." He disagrees. After a long bout of negotiations she agrees to make the sweet sweet love to the tow of us for $160 dollars.
Jason's up first (he paid and all). She takes the money and tucks it away. He is nailing this girl. I mean the floor was shaking. There was absolutely no mercy coming from this man. After about 5 min and no rocks being broken she screams out "GET THE F*CK OFF OF ME! F*CK THE $HIT OUT OF ME FOR 160 DOLLARS!?! I DON'T THINK SO!" With much reluctance he dismounts and heads out the door.
I'm up. I'm very nervous. Yet she eases my nerves as she slides the condom on with her mouth (my first time to experience that). After a little more foreplay I go for the stab. Having never been with a whore before I begin to girate slowly, in a circular motion, making love to my whore. I didn't know you just f*cked them at the time. Silly me... So I'm loving like no one has loved before when I feel the matress move behind me. I look back and Jason has his arm shoulder deep beneath the matress. He puts his finger over his lips telling me to be quiet. No bother, I was in heaven making love to a hooker!
He comes in 5 min later saying, "Dude! My brother’s in trouble. We gotta go!" I tell him, "Dude, 10 more mintues! I'm almost done." The beer and THC had prolonged my love making skills, and I was quite proud indeed. Time passes, and much lovemaking was made. Jason comes barreling in. He means business this time. "DUDE!!! My brother's REALLY in trouble. We gotta GO! NOW!" No stalling this time. So I dismount. I put my clothes on being rushed by Jason all the while.
We hop into Ruby (the red '74) and she starts with a sputter. About that time the front door to her apartment flies open, and there stands Nightshade in nothing but her white lace panties with an orange bottle of Saint Ides. She’s screaming something. I look over at Jason and he shows me a wad of cash and laughs. He says, "GO DUDE! GO!" I hear Nightshade scream again this time in vile anger and disgust, "YOU MOTHER F*CKERS TOOK MY MONEY!!!" She chucks the bottle of Saint Ides, and successfully dings Ruby near the rear passenger side quarter panel. We peel out of there as fast as Ruby can take us.
Now, what I didn't tell you is that Nightshade liked to keep her hookin' money underneath the matress upon which she did business. Jason was making a grab for the cash when I looked back and saw him. Everything came together at that point. We came out on top with not only the original 160 bones, but made 120 on top of that.…We drank for a few days on that money.
written by Rikooprate
No comments:
Post a Comment